reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
