just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Mom said you looked used
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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