I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize