i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
