We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
