Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
