They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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