I am in a vortex of obligation.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
