Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i will never coherently bang her
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize