I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
