Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
