Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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