I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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