I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
