Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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