i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
