they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
