I faked an abortion last night.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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