Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
