Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
