i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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