just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
