I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
