Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize