i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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