Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
