I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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