i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
