I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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