i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
you never un-have a 4some
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
