At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Randomize
