I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
