Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize