I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
