I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
