u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
