ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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