dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
