I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
