I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
