i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize