kristin has been a bad kristin
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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