I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
