I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
