Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
