rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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