Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
