i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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