It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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