Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
