You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
