Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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