my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
