But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
