smell my finger.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize