I need help removing her.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
