honey bunches of taint.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
