And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
