i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize