When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
