Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
