She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
