We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
