Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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