Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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