love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Randomize
