they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
