Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
